You’d be surprised and shocked to know that friends often see you completely differently to the way you see yourself. However, unless you have a very open and special relationship with them, they would never dream of saying so. The result: faulty self-image or FSI as we call it at Drawing Down the Moon.
An interesting example of faulty self-image is that virtually every person who comes through our doors confides to us that they ‘know’ they look at least five years younger that they are. The reason? Their friends say this to them on birthdays or when looking at photos to make them feel good (which in turn makes the friends feel good). Even your frankest, closest friend isn’t going to burst this little bubble for you! Your very best friends are they ones most likely to collude with your FSI. Do you really believe you look younger than you are? Honest now- own up!
“A woman is as old as she looks to a man who likes to look at her.” – Finlay Peter Dunne
A paradoxical feature of faulty self-image is that we can be convinced by our rose-tinted vision of ourselves while, at the same time, suffering low self-esteem. At the agency, we occasionally get some averagely attractive applicants you say they lack confidence in themselves. And yet (and this never fails to surprise us) these people still routinely believe that the potential dates whom they fancy- people who are much more attractive that they are – will want to meet them. It’s a tricky one for us to deal with without hurting their feelings.